REALLY! A TRUE STORY. In 1965 a swan took up residence at the Mill Pond in Durham, New Hampshire. Because a fugitive swan was somewhat unusual, there was a fair amount of press generated. An exiled Russian princess, most recently of Ipswich, Mass., insisted that the swan was hers and came up to claim it. Rebuffed by town residents and the local fish and game, she returned to Ipswich sans swan. The swan was named “Onderdonk” and was the first of many on Mill Pond.
I am fairly certain that she did not look like a crazed Jacqueline Suzanne. I just like to think of her that way.
With the temperature hovering around 8° outside, you might be tempted to jet off to parts south for some sunshine and sand. Heed this warning Irish people! European clothing optional beaches are not for you! It’s not the parade of leathery skin on Orient Beach that is the problem. It’s just that you can’t pack enough outerwear to protect the Irish skin from the blinding tropical sun.
When you can go Bridgee Galactic! For a LIMITED TIME you can get the NASA*-approved Bridgee Galactic Space Explorer’s Kit™** for only $29.99!!! That’s a savings of $199,970.01 over Virgin Galactic!! BUT WAIT! There’s more!! Act now and you will receive TWO, count ‘em, TWO Bridgee Galactic Space Explorer’s Kits™ for the price of one. ORDER TODAY!! Supplies are limited! (In fact, we might not actually have two.)
*Nasty Armpit Smell Association
**May cause dizzyness, temporary blindness, excessive flatulence and, in rare cases, spontaneous combustion. DO NOT LICK product as that WILL result in instant death.
Turns out that the Sumerians get credit for beer! Around 10,000 BC someone left wet some grain around and TA DA! They couldn’t figure out how to strain it so they drank it out a big vat with straws to get below the crud line.